EASTERR is coming.
I love Easter, one of my favorite holidays of the year. I was bummed about it this year because we weren't having EFC (Easter for Children) at OMC this year. but luckilyy, I was given the opportunity to serve at NLVC. It was a joy to see all my old kids. The joy of Christ's resurrection and cruficixion. Really excited for the next few days. Thank the Lord for SPRING BREAK!
I wish I was deserving of the break though, I never try hard in school.

02.19.10 QT

02.10.10 QT

Wow, I haven’t posted/shared QT in a LONG while. I’ve been journaling mine lately. OhLord, Forgive me.I apologize for my irresponsibility. I’ve been keeping all the QT to myself..

Today wasn’t the best day for me. LMBO. All nighter, chugging down energy drinks, throwing up in the morning, not going to school. OhJoy.

Lord, I have disappointed you and my mother. Skipping school for stupid reasons like these. My mom says I’m living my life backwards, and how God I really need you to set me forward. No more excuses, no more laziness, and no more letting sleep get the best of me. Anyways, here’s my QT for today.
Scripture: John 11:28- 44

Verse: 40
Then Jesus Said, “Did I Not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?’

Verse: 43-44

When he had said this, Jesus said in a loud voice, “Lazarus, COME OUT!”
The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face, Jesus said to them, “Take of the grave clothes and let him go.”


Observation:
We’re always disappointed in God when we feel like He doesn’t hear our prayers or our cries. We blame Him for our loss but we forget that everything we own or have owned were God-sent gifts. Mary was too upset to face Jesus because of the loss of Lazarus. “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” (Verse 32) Jesus was deeply moved by her cry and hurt. In fact, the shortest verse of the bible is written here. “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35) He understands our pain, troubles, anguish, hurt, hopelessness. “If you love me, why would you let this happen?” That’s something we always question God, and ask God in times of trials. We even feel betrayed. Imagine how God felt each time. He cries not only because he feels our hurt, but also because of the hurt we give him. We forsake God so much. Why do we always blame God for what Satan is doing? Satan wants us to blame God, he wants us to stray away from him with these tribulations. We aren’t to stray away but face Him in situations like these. God seeks those seeking Him. We are to seek for Him even harder instead of wandering away. That’s the part of believing, Faith.


Application:
From this story, I’m like Lazarus. Dead, inactive in the tomb, and waiting for God to call me out. That’s how I was today. Spending my whole day sleeping. I’m just waiting for some miracle to happen, instead of being the miracle God can use me to be. I would see the glory of God if I just believed. Our faith is shaken so easily. We stray away due to little doubts. God doesn’t send us a struggle we can’t over come. These struggles aren’t to overwhelm us to the point where we can’t seek God anymore. We are to seek God even in the darkness, and look harder. If we pay attention to the darkness too hard, the light seems smaller. I see God too small. He can do such great things, but I view my problems to be bigger than they are. If I truly believe, I would see God’s glory instead of just the problem caused by doubt. Focus on what really matters Esther.


Currently Listening:
Angels Sing- Press Play
“You see, see in me what I cant see
Believe in me in my unbelief
Strengthen me when I’m so week
Cuz you know I love you”

Prayer Topics:
1. QT Consistency
2. Thank God that Sansui went well on Valentine’s Day.
3. I’m already struggling health and school wise without work. I’m scared about when I do work…

02.12.10 QT The Blind Will See

Birthday QT

Doodee. Today, I felt soo blessed.
No jokee.

I really feel like my friends are God-given angels.
Karin, Aya, Troy, Christina, Deborah, Will, Julie, Jae. Everyone! They all brightened my day.
Today, I got caked, cried tears of joy, got suprised by a mob of people. haha' Its a very memorable day. I got an Ipod, scrapbook, 2 cakes, a cross, a flower, and lots of hugs. was really indifferent towards today in the morning. At lunch, I was so overwhelmed with joy that I started crying. I was so touched.

Lord, what the hell have I given to deserve such great gifts. Not just the materialistic stuff, but God FRIENDS..I realized how blessed and lucky I am to have friends that care so much for me. Lord, thank you's won't be enough to even begin how much I appreciate you, and the angels you've given me.

I really felt loved and it was really encouraged.
The love God has shown through my friends gave me the encouragement to contact my dad again.

I haven't had cake in two years, due to personal issues. but today, I had two..
Thanks so much guys, for all your efforts and sacrifices. Today was very memorable and treasured.

Anyways, Here's my birthday QT.
I've been journaling lately so I haven't been sharing my QT online.

Scripture:
John 8: 48-59
Verse: 50
" I am not seeking glory for myself;but there is one who seeks it, and he is the judge."

Observation:
Jesus is not a false prophet, and when he was preaching in front of the temple. The crowd accused him of being demon-posessed. As humans, we always think our way is best. That "my" way is the ONLY way, and there is no other way to do it . We resent any thought that goes against ours or brings us discomfort. THIS IS PRIDE. We want to do things on our own, and do it greater than God. What makes us so great that we should even assume not needing God? We're so stubborn in wanting things our own way, that we never search for God's way. Our greed, our pride prevents us from fully experiencing God's plan. Pride, is the one thing that God hates most. It was the first sin ever committed. All the things we put above God, are idols. God gives us everything we have. It's all HIS. He shares with us, and gives us gifts we don't deserve.
Application:
I am receiving too much. Lord.
Humility is SELF- LESS- ness. Less of oneself, and more of others. I'm very prideful and stubborn.. that's one thing I need to learn to control. God deserves all the glory, honor, and praise. My application is to sincerely pray before starting anything. Listen to God's directions instead of making my own. Or wanting to do things my way. To let my pride down, and to really let God's love flow through me. I want to serve with the right mentaility and heart. I want to practice humility through servitude. Lord, I need to serve you and my friends better.
"Friends are like angels that lift us up when our wings have trouble flying."
Lord, you've brought me angels that really lifted me up in my times of darkness. I broke down yesturday. Thoughts of my dad, hurt, anger, resentment. all of that. But today, you've shown your glory through my friends. That your love is more powerful than any of our selfish anger. I finally emailed my dad today... I don't want to be stubborn anymore. I was so sick of crying, hurting, everytime my birthday came. I really want to let that out one by one, so you can fill that emptiness God. I've been broken due to all these burdens I keep holding onto myself. Too stubborn to let them go to you. Lord, please take them.

Prayer Topics
1. Endurance when I do my judge
2. Appreciation, Lord, thank you for today. everything. All the gifts you've given me, I dont deserve, and freely receive. My friends, family, opportunites, memories, food, a home. Everything... Lord, thank you.
3. A heart to forgive my father. It actually felt relieivng today. I emailed him a message which I haven't done in a while so yeah.

Timing. 02.01.10

Scripture: John 7:1-13
Verse: John 7:6-7
For even his own brothers did not believe in him.
Therefore, Jesus told them, "The right time for me has not yet come; for you any time is right. The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify what it does is evil."

Observation:
Even Jesus's own brothers, who have lived with him for 30 years did not acknowledge his divinity. Jesus lived humbly as a carpenter's son for 30 years. The Bible emphasizes His birth, His ministry, and His death. Maybe a glimpse of his teen years, but never a full picture of his first 30 years. He did not do this out of secrecy or fear, but was preparing himself to face the world. He did not want to go to the feast to flaunt his abilities. Even his own brothers did not know the full extent of his potential or abilities. It's not that He wasn't ready, but we weren't ready to understand him. Our human perception of God,of course, is always lacking. He's not someone that is meant to be fully understood. If we understood and knew everything about God, He wouldn't be God.

Application:
God has His own timing, and timing for everyone. He works in very mysterious ways, but has His reasons for everything.
My application is not to rush God's works by my own anxieties or fears, but out of God's timing. Maybe, Fellowship Club wasn't something we could handle, because we did not prepare ourselves for it. And now is the time to prepare, pray, and plan. Time is one thing we can't ever get back, and how we spend it is crucial. Even when it comes to evangelizing, I have to know that, I can't rush someone's encounter with God but simply open doors for them. Not force them in.
We have to use our time wisely and figure out how we're going to re-construct Fellowship Club.
We all have to pray and meditate, and wait for God's signal. I pray that we'll all have the right heart and foundation to prepare for this. I have to prepare myself mentally, physically, and spiritually for the struggles about to come.

Currently Listening: L.O.V.E- Jaeson Ma

"He does the unthinkable, but think about that"

Prayer Topics:
1. FELLOWSHIP CLUB. Today's QT really reminded of timing, and how with the break we have, we'll should be using that time wisely and efficiently, but we aren't. Is it that we don't have enough time during school? or is it because we don't make time. Anyways, I hope the leader's meeting at my house will really clear things out.
2. FINALS! Yes, I'm procrastinating everything again... but I pray that I'll be able to work my best with the time I still do have.
3. SANSUI. Business to go well. It's going to rain again this week so I pray that God will really provide.

01.27.10 We are HUNGRY! (:

Scripture: John 6:22-29

Verse: John 6:26-29

Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, you are looking for me, not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for the food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.”
Then they asked him, “What must we do to the works God requires?”
Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent”

Observation:

The day after Jesus performed his miracle, the crowd goes into search for him due to their physical hunger. They knew Jesus had the ability to multiply bread and fish in order to feed their stomachs. They approached him with worldly intentions, not to develop a personal relationship with Him. They didn’t realize that they decided to eat the food that wouldn’t sustain them. God offers food of eternal life. Food that won’t spoil, but one that satisfies. We should work hard to earn the food God offers. Doing QT, fasting, praying, evangelizing, going to church, is all different types of food we need to stay healthy. We can’t have more of one, and not the other. We should be taking our meals daily.

Anyways, Jesus is the bread we need to sustain our lives. We should not only focus on our physical hunger, but our spiritual hunger. We should be craving Him every moment of our lives. He SHOULD be something we can’t live without. As much as we work to feed our stomachs, we should work our best to be fed spiritually. If we go too far without it, we shouldn’t be able to function. That’s how desperate and hungry I want to be for Christ. He is the bread that gives us life. His food is something we constantly need to take in. His food is something that we can never have enough of. Even if we constantly eat, and overflow, being filled with God is like a blessing in itself.

Application:

DOODE. Today is the perfect QT for CLUB DAY to come. LMBO.

I LOVE FOOOD. I really do, I should be showing that love for God’s food too. I’m too pampered by the luxury of eating physical food everyday. DANGG. I’m sooo freakin unappreciative. When I pray, I pray for provision, never for thanksgiving or appreciation.

Food is something that brings people together right? By sharing food, you start a personal relationship with the people you share it with. That’s how it should be with God too. We should share God. I believe that God is the food we all crave. All humans crave love, and I believe God is the source of all love. Sacrifice is the ultimate way of showing love. God shared his Son with us, and we should share the same love with others.

As my application, in order to practice my craving for Christ, I plan on fasting tomorrow. Fasting and praying comes hand to hand. Fasting food always helps me realize how blessed I am. Even knowing the fact that I’m able to eat as soon as I finish my fast is something I need to be appreciative about. Praying a prayer of thanksgiving (appreciation), adoration, confession, and provision. is really something I need in order to realize my hunger for Christ. Also, praying with Club Day in mind, tomorrow is the perfect day to fast!. That we’ll be able to be the hands God uses not only to feed others physically (with bulgogi tacos) but also spiritually. Haha’ it’ll be the best meal they’ve had in their lives. I think if all the leaders fast together, while praying for the club, it'll be the most powerful thing ever.

Currently Listening: We Are Hungry- Chris Tomlin

“We are hungry, we are hungry, we are hungry for more you.”

Prayer Topics:

1. For our Fellowship Club to feed a lot of hungry stomachs. (spiritually, and physically)

2. God to really pour his abundance upon my mom’s restaurant, and Club day.

3. For my hunger for Christ to be something I feed constantly.

4. Thank GOD, haha' I was a lot more energetic today(: More positive, and just alive and excited to go through the day

01.25.10 QT, Be Child-Like.

This weekend wasn't the best weekend for me. Bombing SAT's, coming between two close friends, and I've been so negative about everything lately. It's heartbreaking to see the bond between my best friends being shakened. My tolerance is growing thinner, my patience is growing shorter, and my energy is becoming weaker. Not really the best mentaility to have. I've been losing that drive, that spirit. I have to learn to control some of my emotions. My expressions are so noticeable. Whether I'm tired, angry, sad, it ALL shows. I read QT yesturday, but didn't apply any of it. So here's my QT.

Scripture: John 6:1-15

(Verse 9)

"Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many"

(Verse 11)

Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted and did the same with the fish.

(Verse 14)

After the people saw the miraculous sign that Jesus did, they began to say, "Surely this is the Prophet who is to come into the world."

Observation:

In the beginning of Chapter 6, Jesus tests the faith of his diciples. He asks Philip where he shoud buy bread to feed the crowd following them. Philip shows an immediate negative response ("Eight months' wages would not buy enough bread for each one to have a bite") and doubts Jesus' potential. When God asks a question, He already KNOWS the answer we are about to say. He asks us as rhetorical questions, that already have the right answer. He wants us to know the answer clealy. Andrew, another one of his disciplies, brings up a boy that is willing to share his bread and fish. Andrew shows a glimpse of hope in a hopeless situation. He does not fully believe but shows a "mustard seed" faith. A mustard seed faith can have great power, not because of our human power, but through God's superior power (the power he desperately wants to show us/ give us)

Here is another one Jesus's wonderful miracles. Jesus fed a thousand with only five loaves of bread and two fish. A great crowd was awaiting Him with great anticipation. The crowd saw signs of him healing the sick, and had great expectations and they got what they wanted. A huge miracle, but this could not have been done without the child-like faith of the boy offering his meal.

Application:

Lord, I don't want to have no faith, mustard seed faith, but a child-like faith. Why do we need all these big signs and miracles to prove to us your glory? We need such big signs or a miracle as assurance. We are reluctant to be fully dependent on you because of our instability. Even Jesus' disciples that have been witnessing his superior power still doubted. Lord, I want to be like the boy who offered his meal. Entrusting you to work your wonders. You take something so small given by human works, and make them so BIG. Lord, your majesty is beyond what our human minds can comprehend. It is because of our human tendency to doubt. We're so blinded and discouraged by the world, that the pureness of our faith is growing weaker. We forget that original encounter.

You truly are something out of this world, and someone that wants us to make us a part of your world. Help me to be someone that finds hope in hopeless situations, not become one of the hopeless. I used to be such a bright child that was so excited to live life the you have given me. It's because I'm being shakened God. Lord, my assurance of you though is getting stronger through these QT's God. and I thank you for that.

Currently Listening: Oh You Bring- Hillsong United

Oh You bring hope to the hopeless

And light to those in the darkness

And death to life

And now I'm ALIVE.

Prayer Topics:
1. To have that drive, that energy of God's glory like that of a child. Not blind faith, but pure faith.

2. For my negativity, I don't want to stay so dead, angry, tired. Emotions are strong, and easily shared. Good emotions, bad emotions, both. My anger is something I need to control God. My expression just shows it all.

3. Rain this week again, for God to really pour His blessings upon my mom's restaurant soon.

4. For the reconciliation of my best friends.

Be your best.

It's not my place to complain.
Yet I must say, today is making me a little insane.
I pray that God will be the Mediator,
As I urge for my sisters to come together.
Bonds will not be left broken.
Words will not stay unspoken.
For He makes all things work together for our good.
We will come together as we should.
Another struggle we shall overcome.
For this is God's will being done.

haha' a little rhyme of mine to express my day. yeah, I know it's a little corny. but hey' didn't cheat, and spoke what came out of me.


"You stay the same through the ages. Your love never changes. There may be pain the night, but joy comes in the morning. Your love never fails.

You make all things work together for our good"
- Jesus Culture, Your Love Never Fails.

Mixed emotions. Misunderstanding. Comforting words after today's day.

Today we learned in bible study:
"Be the best student.
Be the best sister.
Be the best daughter.
Be the best Christian."
Our teacher forgot, "Be the best friend." ♥

Not necessarily QT today, but just sharing what I learned this Sunday. Very brief, but just my way of venting. This weekend was pretty blech. SAT's I BOMBED.... and today was just filled with mixed emotions.

Pick up your mat at walk! (:

Scripture: John 5:10-18

Verse: John 4:11

But he replied, "The man who made me well said to me, ‘Pick up your mat and walk,''

Verse: John 4:17

Jesus said to them, "My Father is always at His work to this very day, and I, too, am working." For this reason the Jews tried all the harder to kill him' not only was he breaking the Sabbath, but he was even calling God his own Father, making himself equal with God.

"The man who made me well said to me, "Pick up your mat and walk."

The invalid only obeyed God, for He was the one worth obeying. Jesus performed one of his miracles on the Sabbath. The Sabbath was practiced as a day of rest. For God rested on the 7th day after creating everything, even so I don't think the Holy Spirit was at rest. The Holy Spirit was working through its creations. God never stops working, the Holy Spirit never stops moving, and Jesus will never stop loving. In the same way, let us be constantly at work for the Lord. No law should restrain us besides God's law. The Invalid continued to walk, and continued to obey God's commands instead of the Old law. He found God to be above all else. Not only did he stop there, but after realizing who healed him, he continued to share his testimony. There is no such thing as taking a vacation from God. Wherever we go, He's always there, and there's always something we can do.

Application:

I personally think Sundays (Sabbath) are the days when we need to work our best. "Work" sounds like something we are forced to do. Our duties such as sharing the good news (just as the invalid did) should be performed out of love. I should serve the Lord because I ENJOY Him, not because I feel like I have to. Is it really "work" if it's something we enjoy? Yups, it’s the best job of all(:

My application is to change my perspective upon my way of "serving". Like I said, on Sundays, I tend to lack energy and not work to the best of my potential. Being lazy, using my tiredness as an excuse. None of that should matter if my love for God is overflowing. I loveee praiseleading. It was my way of serving and praising God to my fullest. Dancing and singing my heart out for God was something I enjoyed to do. It still is, but not as much. I praise lead for my Jolly Jumpers (Pre-school kids, 3-5). Haha' it was my favorite thing to do praising with the kids but lately, I feel like it's something I'm obliged to do. I do it merely out of commitment instead of enjoyment. When I return on Sunday, I shall praise my best.

Currently Listening: Devotion- Hillsongs
“I’ve been working, this salvation out on my knees

There’s nothing better than knowing,

We are redeemed.

I’m believing trusting in creative hands,

I’m praying for our world to bow to your plan.

I will take up my cross (haha’ mat in this case)

And follow you Lord.”

Prayer:

- Consistency: Keep doing QT with my best effort, and just keep working. I f'reals am the "Play now, work later" type. It's not working. haha' I want to "work hard, and play harder" when I deserve it. It should be the same in my service to God. "work now, worship harder"

- For today to be a productive day with my work
- Gah, for the rain to stop. I really do love rain, it's really refreshing, but lately' It's to the point where it really effects my mom's business (as the same for other businesses.)

01.20.10 QT(:

Scripture: John 5:1-9

Verse: John 5:7-8

"Sir," the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred, While I am trying to get in,someone else goes down ahead of me."
Then Jesus said to him, "Get Up!, Pick up your mat and walk."

- " I have no one to help me when the water is stirred..."

The "invalid" is always looked down upon society. He's always used to people stepping over him, and getting his spot taken. People took advantage of his condition through earthly power. He was bereft of the aid he needed.

" While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me."

Let them have that spot, because God has a greater place for you above all earthly positions. We will never be stepped down upon because God lifts us up to a place of His superior power. The world views us as weak, broken, lame because we are without God's power.

" Get up! Pick up your mat and walk."

Let us break away from our hopeless situation, and have hope in our walk with Christ. Let us not stumble from getting up, but just obey. Earthly power can be stolen, bribed, lost. Superior power only comes through the Holy Spirit. God doesn't give us the Holy Spirit for what we want to do, but for what HE wants us to do. Only through His superior power can we recieve true healing. The invalid found hope through Jesus' help. Through His SUPERIOR power, he makes the hopeless, hopeful, the worthless, worthy, and the lame, walk.

Application:

- In desperate times, I want God to be my only hope. He makes us desperate for His aid. I'd stumble if I tried to get up by myself. I always want to do things with my own strength, my own abilities. I have to stop relying on my worthless earthly strength, and rely on God's superior strength. I'll do that by before taking action, praying first, not after. I think that's how I was for Fellowship Club. Trying to do things my way, not His way. Rely on His strength after, not before I started.

Currently Listening: Healer- Planet Shakers

" I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need
NOTHING is impossible for You. "

Prayer Request:

- Time management the rest of this week. To do my hw instead of procrastinatingg. I procrastinate a lot of things, and I'm very unorganized. It shows especially during Fellowship Club too. Putting off things to last minutes, forgetting to remind others, etc.

- Humility, the heart to serve others even those wanting to step on me. The humility to admit my flaws and limits, and let God do His works.

- Like, glorify God through my actions always. Like, honeslty, I don't think my daily actions show I am Christian. If a stranger saw me and saw how I was for a day, they wouldn't be able to distinguish me from a non-Christian. That's really something I need to work on.

I Love Rain ♥

So Refreshing(:
I love the smell of rain.

1.19.10 QT(:

Passage: John 4:43-54

Scripture (verse that got me the most):

" Unless you people see miraculous signs and wonders,'' Jesus told him, " you will never believe."

- John 4:48

Observation:

Jesus rebukes the people of Galilee for not believing in Him without such evidence. I think as humans, our eyes can be used as our double sword. Our eyes either see Him, or see the world. Too much focus on the world, blinds us from seeing God. To be "holy" is to be set apart. We can only be set apart, if God sets us apart. He seeks those seeking Him. We always need such big miracles to prove to us He is there. Always needing proof, evidence. Our faith definitely isn't blind faith, but we always need BIG signs as assurance without completely trusting in Him. Miracles happen all the time. We always want such big things to happen that we let the small things go. God works in mysterious way, and comes like a thief in the night. It's the small things that are the most important. Every moment, we might let one pass by.

I was getting acupuncture a few days ago. I just lied there still for 30 minutes after he was done with the needles. During those 30 minutes, I was listening to my shuffle. I honestly only have 2 Christian songs on that shuffle with like 30 songs. I was just listening to the songs, but the next song I wanted was a Christian song. In my head, I was like. "God, please let it be your song." and the next song that came was Your Name High- Hillsongs. Ierno, for me, it was one of those small miracles that happen everyday. But in order for me to notice them, I had to be still, and seek Him.

Application

We're so distracted by our schedules that sometimes, we just need that time to be still and seek God. God is telling me to wait up, calm down, stop with what I'm doing, and seek Him. Just like He calms the storms to a whisper, I want Him to calm my heart. I'll make that time available by just aside from QT, spend time just listening to praise songs, and praying.

Currently listening to: The Stand- Hillsongs

"I'll stand with my arms high and my heart abandoned, in awe of the one who gave it all. I'll stand, my soul all to you surrendered, all I am is yours."

Prayer Topics:

1. Spirit, vivacity. Lately people say I look dead, and I'm just falling asleep everywhere. It makes me feel inactive and lazy. I keep falling asleep at church, at school. I used to be so spirited and alive. I want to have that energy again, to just be excited by the blessings God has given me.

2. For my mom's restaurant, Sansui, to go well. Buisness has been really bad the past few months. It's raining this whole week also. My mom works her butt off to take care of us, and I take too much of an advantage of that. Financially, our family isn't doing so well. I hope God just pours His blessings upon my mom. Bless her and her restaurant abundantly.

3. I'm looking for a job, I want one when I turn 17 next month.I pray that God will really provide a place for me to work, so I can serve my mom