02.19.10 QT

02.10.10 QT

Wow, I haven’t posted/shared QT in a LONG while. I’ve been journaling mine lately. OhLord, Forgive me.I apologize for my irresponsibility. I’ve been keeping all the QT to myself..

Today wasn’t the best day for me. LMBO. All nighter, chugging down energy drinks, throwing up in the morning, not going to school. OhJoy.

Lord, I have disappointed you and my mother. Skipping school for stupid reasons like these. My mom says I’m living my life backwards, and how God I really need you to set me forward. No more excuses, no more laziness, and no more letting sleep get the best of me. Anyways, here’s my QT for today.
Scripture: John 11:28- 44

Verse: 40
Then Jesus Said, “Did I Not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?’

Verse: 43-44

When he had said this, Jesus said in a loud voice, “Lazarus, COME OUT!”
The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face, Jesus said to them, “Take of the grave clothes and let him go.”


Observation:
We’re always disappointed in God when we feel like He doesn’t hear our prayers or our cries. We blame Him for our loss but we forget that everything we own or have owned were God-sent gifts. Mary was too upset to face Jesus because of the loss of Lazarus. “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” (Verse 32) Jesus was deeply moved by her cry and hurt. In fact, the shortest verse of the bible is written here. “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35) He understands our pain, troubles, anguish, hurt, hopelessness. “If you love me, why would you let this happen?” That’s something we always question God, and ask God in times of trials. We even feel betrayed. Imagine how God felt each time. He cries not only because he feels our hurt, but also because of the hurt we give him. We forsake God so much. Why do we always blame God for what Satan is doing? Satan wants us to blame God, he wants us to stray away from him with these tribulations. We aren’t to stray away but face Him in situations like these. God seeks those seeking Him. We are to seek for Him even harder instead of wandering away. That’s the part of believing, Faith.


Application:
From this story, I’m like Lazarus. Dead, inactive in the tomb, and waiting for God to call me out. That’s how I was today. Spending my whole day sleeping. I’m just waiting for some miracle to happen, instead of being the miracle God can use me to be. I would see the glory of God if I just believed. Our faith is shaken so easily. We stray away due to little doubts. God doesn’t send us a struggle we can’t over come. These struggles aren’t to overwhelm us to the point where we can’t seek God anymore. We are to seek God even in the darkness, and look harder. If we pay attention to the darkness too hard, the light seems smaller. I see God too small. He can do such great things, but I view my problems to be bigger than they are. If I truly believe, I would see God’s glory instead of just the problem caused by doubt. Focus on what really matters Esther.


Currently Listening:
Angels Sing- Press Play
“You see, see in me what I cant see
Believe in me in my unbelief
Strengthen me when I’m so week
Cuz you know I love you”

Prayer Topics:
1. QT Consistency
2. Thank God that Sansui went well on Valentine’s Day.
3. I’m already struggling health and school wise without work. I’m scared about when I do work…

02.12.10 QT The Blind Will See

Birthday QT

Doodee. Today, I felt soo blessed.
No jokee.

I really feel like my friends are God-given angels.
Karin, Aya, Troy, Christina, Deborah, Will, Julie, Jae. Everyone! They all brightened my day.
Today, I got caked, cried tears of joy, got suprised by a mob of people. haha' Its a very memorable day. I got an Ipod, scrapbook, 2 cakes, a cross, a flower, and lots of hugs. was really indifferent towards today in the morning. At lunch, I was so overwhelmed with joy that I started crying. I was so touched.

Lord, what the hell have I given to deserve such great gifts. Not just the materialistic stuff, but God FRIENDS..I realized how blessed and lucky I am to have friends that care so much for me. Lord, thank you's won't be enough to even begin how much I appreciate you, and the angels you've given me.

I really felt loved and it was really encouraged.
The love God has shown through my friends gave me the encouragement to contact my dad again.

I haven't had cake in two years, due to personal issues. but today, I had two..
Thanks so much guys, for all your efforts and sacrifices. Today was very memorable and treasured.

Anyways, Here's my birthday QT.
I've been journaling lately so I haven't been sharing my QT online.

Scripture:
John 8: 48-59
Verse: 50
" I am not seeking glory for myself;but there is one who seeks it, and he is the judge."

Observation:
Jesus is not a false prophet, and when he was preaching in front of the temple. The crowd accused him of being demon-posessed. As humans, we always think our way is best. That "my" way is the ONLY way, and there is no other way to do it . We resent any thought that goes against ours or brings us discomfort. THIS IS PRIDE. We want to do things on our own, and do it greater than God. What makes us so great that we should even assume not needing God? We're so stubborn in wanting things our own way, that we never search for God's way. Our greed, our pride prevents us from fully experiencing God's plan. Pride, is the one thing that God hates most. It was the first sin ever committed. All the things we put above God, are idols. God gives us everything we have. It's all HIS. He shares with us, and gives us gifts we don't deserve.
Application:
I am receiving too much. Lord.
Humility is SELF- LESS- ness. Less of oneself, and more of others. I'm very prideful and stubborn.. that's one thing I need to learn to control. God deserves all the glory, honor, and praise. My application is to sincerely pray before starting anything. Listen to God's directions instead of making my own. Or wanting to do things my way. To let my pride down, and to really let God's love flow through me. I want to serve with the right mentaility and heart. I want to practice humility through servitude. Lord, I need to serve you and my friends better.
"Friends are like angels that lift us up when our wings have trouble flying."
Lord, you've brought me angels that really lifted me up in my times of darkness. I broke down yesturday. Thoughts of my dad, hurt, anger, resentment. all of that. But today, you've shown your glory through my friends. That your love is more powerful than any of our selfish anger. I finally emailed my dad today... I don't want to be stubborn anymore. I was so sick of crying, hurting, everytime my birthday came. I really want to let that out one by one, so you can fill that emptiness God. I've been broken due to all these burdens I keep holding onto myself. Too stubborn to let them go to you. Lord, please take them.

Prayer Topics
1. Endurance when I do my judge
2. Appreciation, Lord, thank you for today. everything. All the gifts you've given me, I dont deserve, and freely receive. My friends, family, opportunites, memories, food, a home. Everything... Lord, thank you.
3. A heart to forgive my father. It actually felt relieivng today. I emailed him a message which I haven't done in a while so yeah.

Timing. 02.01.10

Scripture: John 7:1-13
Verse: John 7:6-7
For even his own brothers did not believe in him.
Therefore, Jesus told them, "The right time for me has not yet come; for you any time is right. The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify what it does is evil."

Observation:
Even Jesus's own brothers, who have lived with him for 30 years did not acknowledge his divinity. Jesus lived humbly as a carpenter's son for 30 years. The Bible emphasizes His birth, His ministry, and His death. Maybe a glimpse of his teen years, but never a full picture of his first 30 years. He did not do this out of secrecy or fear, but was preparing himself to face the world. He did not want to go to the feast to flaunt his abilities. Even his own brothers did not know the full extent of his potential or abilities. It's not that He wasn't ready, but we weren't ready to understand him. Our human perception of God,of course, is always lacking. He's not someone that is meant to be fully understood. If we understood and knew everything about God, He wouldn't be God.

Application:
God has His own timing, and timing for everyone. He works in very mysterious ways, but has His reasons for everything.
My application is not to rush God's works by my own anxieties or fears, but out of God's timing. Maybe, Fellowship Club wasn't something we could handle, because we did not prepare ourselves for it. And now is the time to prepare, pray, and plan. Time is one thing we can't ever get back, and how we spend it is crucial. Even when it comes to evangelizing, I have to know that, I can't rush someone's encounter with God but simply open doors for them. Not force them in.
We have to use our time wisely and figure out how we're going to re-construct Fellowship Club.
We all have to pray and meditate, and wait for God's signal. I pray that we'll all have the right heart and foundation to prepare for this. I have to prepare myself mentally, physically, and spiritually for the struggles about to come.

Currently Listening: L.O.V.E- Jaeson Ma

"He does the unthinkable, but think about that"

Prayer Topics:
1. FELLOWSHIP CLUB. Today's QT really reminded of timing, and how with the break we have, we'll should be using that time wisely and efficiently, but we aren't. Is it that we don't have enough time during school? or is it because we don't make time. Anyways, I hope the leader's meeting at my house will really clear things out.
2. FINALS! Yes, I'm procrastinating everything again... but I pray that I'll be able to work my best with the time I still do have.
3. SANSUI. Business to go well. It's going to rain again this week so I pray that God will really provide.